#Ottertime Explained n' Promoted
For the benefit of all my new followers on Twitter as well as current ones, wanted to detail what my #ottertime hashtag is n' in a way promote it. It's basically my current workout routine in the pool. It amounts to a total of 4 miles in the course of five days of the week culminating in a full mile swim on Saturday. Hoping to be able to continue this once in Athens but with grad school, who knows. Why call it ottertime? Before becoming a big yote nut, I fell for otters. I was 8 I think when I first saw em n' yeah, they were pretty much the first animal I liked to pretend to be^^ I still hold otters in high regard n' still feel I kinda have the soul of one¦3 Now as for the the tag, I'd be satisfied if just me n' two or three others use it on occasion. However if others would like to use it, I'd like to point out ya don't have to be an otter or even an otter-at-heart. For that matter ya don't have to use it for just aquatic workouts. Splashing around in a pool, lake, ocean, river, etc. I can't think of any better #ottertime than that¦3 So feel free to use it n' maybe it'll be the next trending thing on Twitter. If it never does, that's fine. Just something I'd through out there. Especially with the summer well upon us here in the Northern Hemisphere:3

4th Recap n' Some Deep Reflection
Such a great 4th weekend on such a beautiful place. So peaceful. So much fun n' fellowship with three friends I don't get to see enough yet everytime we hang together, it's awesome. Their parent recently purchased a house on Lake Oconee. They let us use it for the extended weekend. I could so get use to living lakeside. But even with all this joy, there's so much sadness gathering in my heart. Tomorrow we all leave n' go our separate ways again. Tearing up thinking about it. More so cuz it's like the last times. After AC last year, my trips to SC n' OR this year, n' now this trip, I leave n' go back to what? The same ole aimlessness n' confusion of who I am n' what my life's meant for.

It's so damn stupid to feel this way. I'm so lucky in so many ways. That's the point though. I'm too sensitive to the suffering of others. I feel so much for folks, even those I haven't even met yet. You hear people say it all the time. Oh I want all the world to be at peace n' for nothing but good to come upon folks n' blah blah blah...but have most of them truly felt that way? I truly do n' I try my best to help but more oft than not, I fail miserably n' more hurt just comes because of it. Think the answer is clear though. I can't be an effective helper for anyone of late. I can't even help myself out of the downward spiraling pit of depression that I'm facing. I can't give up though. There most be some purpose for me out there. There has to be some plan. To some extent I must matter to this world, at least to a few folks in it.

A bit of apprehension bout immediate future.
Well I'm over the disappointment of not getting into the grad program that was my first choice. Such is life, there'll be disappointments. When one door shuts, God opens a window. I still await word from Clemson but I have been officially accepted to UGA. My biggest decisions now will center around cost of living n' the best housing options to utilize. Even once that decision is made, it's still gonna be rough. I worry it I'll be intelligent enough or be able emotionally to handle the stress. I've survived the rigors of higher education before n' I've handled being on my own n' away from home before. Doesn't mean it'll be easier this go round. Above all I must remain faithful. This is what I need to do. I know He'll get me through.

Could things have been different?
I just don't know what to think anymore. Should I never have met the folks I've met? All that's resulted is hardships n' hurts. Also so many problems I can't help with yet I feel the pain of them so strong. I know I shouldn't be feeling this way or thinking like this. It's not my fault all the bad is happening. It just seems as though I'm poisonous to all the good folks I meet. Good, strong friendships dashed against the wall n' shattered to nothing. Like they never existed to begin with. Now a similar thing with a friend's marriage. How long before it's smashed to smitherines, I don't know. I feel like I should just leave these folks lives for good. Get away before more fall to the curse that is me. I tried so hard to turn from my reclusive ways n' make more friends n' care more for folks other than just myself. I know I'm being way too depressed over stuff I can't control. I'm just so stressed out with all that's happening around me n' I just....just wanna hide away from the world n' spare anyone else more pain.

Easter Greetings
Boy I've been real bad at updating this. Like a lot of things I jump into it n' vow I'm gonna stay active n' not too long after I just fail to stop by enough:P Oh well, least I made it by to proclaim Happy Easter all¦3

Ish one blessed yotefox:3
It's amazing how things can change. How people can change. Even one so stubborn as myself. I've shunned friendships so many times. Letting my easily wounded feelings keep folks distant. Was to a point of being satisfied with being alone my whole life. Thinking I could do without friends all my life. They weren't needed for my happiness. I've been such a fool. After this past weekend though, I see the more I open up n' let folks in, the brighter a person I become. Like a dim sun void of radiance yet with all the folks I start to befriend, a ray of light n' warmth bursts forth n' I'm more willing myself to share that life n' that warmth with others around me.

Though new light shines forth, the path is still hard to maintain at times. Some aspects of my own life I'm still confused about. There are things I still question bout myself. Will I ever know true love again. Will I ever find the one meant for me or am I meant for a life of singleness. It's ok to question these things though as through these questions, we communicate with God n' that's what he wants us to do. Just as one shouldn't hold back all the hurt n' angst that weighs em down from the folks who care, one shouldn't hold back our concerns n' fears from our Heavenly Father.

I've been so blessed to know the folks I know n' to be where I am right now. Answers will come. God grant me the patience to await them n' the wisdom to know the answers when I see em.

Path in life maybe starting to finally show itself.
At least it seems so in regards to my career choice. You know, I love my twin bro Sam but, I always hated how he knew what he wanted to be since age 8. Drove me nuts as I could never seem to settle on one path. Always aimlessly wandering from one to another. Well if all goes well with my application to UAB, this could be it. I could be on a path to do what I've felt lead to do for some time now. That is researching cancer. Specifically, maybe a bit more of the genetics behind this horrible disease. Genetics has always been a major side interest of mine in the sciences n' I feel this cancer biology program with fair emphasis on genetics is right up my alley.

Though cancer research is the true aim of this here yotefox. I wouldn't be disappointed at all if I helped to shed light on other issues that genetics might be able to help. One field of interest would be the further study of addictions. I don't simply refer to the more coming ones of drugs n' alcohol. Gambling, sex, heck almost anything could be considered an addiction if it starts becoming such a major focus of our lives. (Shoot some may say I've become hopelessly addicted to Twitter! They may be right hehehe:P) Seriously though, addictions of any kind are such a source of grief for folks n' their friends n' family. Be nice to work towards better ways of dealing with em. Yes, I do speak from my own personal experiences. Experiences I'm not proud of at all n' I'm glad I'm starting to get a handle on em. I'm no where near cured but, I'm in control.

Anyways that's some after-supper ramblings from this geeky yotefox. Here's hoping that all who read this find their true callings soon. Oh n' I know I haven't been good at my fitness updates of late but they are going good. Finally below 170 albeit just a hair though. I can still reach my goal of 160 or less before summer fingers n' toes crossed. Take care y'all:3

In a nerdy mood. Guess it's me missing me old job:P
For those who linked here from my tweet, know I'm not really a know-it-all or even claim to be. Just felt like sharing some food-type facts from my experiences with my old job. Actually what brought this nerdy n' reminescent mood was the wine we had for b-lated b-day feast last night. Ain't too often I have wine n' it got me thinkin of the French paradox.

What the heck is the French paradox ya may ask. Maybe ya don't really care to know but I'll tell ya anyways so:P Now lot of folks look down on the mostly deep fried staples of my Southeastern U.S. food culture. Yet the French diet is considerably more unhealthy for the most part in terms of saturated fat. Yet they have surprisingly low incidences of heart disease. So how's that possible? The answer as ya might have guesses by now is wine.

There's a compound in wine, particularly red wines, that is a powerful antioxidant that can counteract the artery-clogging n' hardening from high fat diets. Even has a kinda cool name I think. It's called resveratrol. My main interest in this compound n' others like it are their anti-cancer properties as well. it's compounds like these I'd like to research more. there's so much healing potential in the everyday foods we eat. In fact, cinnamon is one of the most potent antioxidant-laddened compounds around. Be nice to use a ton of it in one day but, just like most things, too much is poisonous x_x

Anyways thanks for indulging me n' letting me drop some food science knowledge on ya. Been showing so much of either my emo/insecure side or my overly playful side, bout time I showed more of the real me which is this major science geek in the guise of a simple country boy from the South¦3 Hope the next time y'all have a glass of wine or simply partake in yer next meal, you'll think a little more bout the power held in them foods. That is if insatiable hunger isn't too distracting:P

All I really want is...
Been getting the same question over n' over again from friends n' relatives for the past couple weeks now. What do you want for yer birthday? In almost exactly 24 hrs. I shall turn 28 n' my answer still is the same it's been a lot of years. I don't know. Of course it's not really that I don't know or that I don't won't anything. It's just what I want usually is not anything that can be giftwrapped n' delivered. I want the financial struggles of my family n' that of a few friends to be taken care of. I wanna be given a fair chance at being known. Not to be prejudged on the basis of how I talk, where I live, n' what I believe. Just because I'm a white boy from the country n' a devout Christian doesn't make me a backwards, racist, homophobic redneck. I hate no one. May not agree with folks over religion, politics, n' lifestyles but it doesn't mean I hate. This year in particular, I'd like to see old friendships restored. Not just my own. Already making headway on the front. I mean some folks real close to me. Of late, sometimes I feel more like a replacement friend than a true friend. Like I'm just supposed to fill the gap of a place vacated by a former friend. But I can't be that other guy. I'm nothing like him n' never will be. I can only be me. That's all I can be. Maybe I'm just being paranoid thinking like that. Sure it's not true. It just feels like it sometimes n' it's frustrating. Possibly it's nothing more than this cold making me all down n' such I don't know. I don't know. Seems to be a catch phrase for me of late. Will try once again to get to sleep. Peace y'all¦3

P.S. For those folks I did gift art for or sent an e-card, don't think you have to do the same in kind for my big day. Really n' truly I'd be satisfied with just an acknowledgement. Because what anyone really wants on their day I think is to be known n' appreciated.

This week's weigh in.
Down from 173.8 to solid 173 again0_o Feel like a see-saw constantly up n' down. Well a loss is a loss so that's good. With this blasted cold though. Workouts may be cut early this week then again though so is my appetite. Trying my best not to let little set-backs like these discourage me. Having that SVT attack Friday after not having one in awhile really rattled me but it's really nothing to be rattled about. If anything, it seems to give me the ability to dead-on predict when I'm coming down with something. Point behind all this rambling, don't give up. Set-backs will happen with any plan or routine or, just bout anything with life in general. Try n' stay focused on the bigger picture that's life.


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