Contemplation strikes deep the yotefox.
Yeah, I'm in one of them contemplative moods. Not quite sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing? Might me something in-between. Was just listening to a CD I burned few years back. The last song on it was Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw. Yeah..yeah I know. I'm such a goober, I actually like country music:p Anywho, it got me thinking. For those who don't know it, it's about this guy who hasn't got long to live. Song doesn't explicitly say he has cancer but that would be my guess. Any way he talks about all the things he's gonna do with the short time he has left. Like that movie The Bucket List. One particular line that spoke to me was the one Like Tomorrow Was A Gift. Well, that's the case with all of us actually. From the healthiest individual to the guy 24 hrs. away from execution. We're not guaranteed tomorrow. I could go to sleep tonight n' never wake up the next morning. Sometimes wander if that's why I just can't get to sleep some nights. I shouldn't be so worried bout it. I'm healthy for the most part aside from a mild heart condition. This is straying to far off though, the point is that, tomorrow is truly a gift. Not trying to be depressive or anything here. It's just fact. We should treat everyday like it's our last. Don't go to bed angry at anyone. Forgive those who've done you wrong. Yeah sure, it's easier said than done but we outta do it. At the very least, let the folks closest to ya know that you care a great deal for em. Also don't worry too much bout tomorrow or the future. Yes the paths of life can be dark n' uncertain but ya can only take it one day at a time. Anyways that's just what I've been thinking. Take care everyone. Peace be with ya:3

Some reflection on friendships.
This is a general reflection I've felt led to share. It's mainly geared however to six special individuals, five I've met n' one I hope soon to meet. Robert & Stephanie, Jasper, Daniel, Ellen, n' Ian. Don't know why this particular group is so important to me. Guess mainly it's because it represents a group dynamic that I've never been a part of. I've had a few individual friends scattered throughout childhood but I was always so varied in my interests n' personalities ever to stick to a group of friends. In truth, do to a few bad experiences, I generally got in the habit of not keeping in touch with folks. Foolishly thinking that I'd be better off not making friends. Never trying just to avoid the hurt. Then bout this time last year I met Jasper online n' he invited me to join him n' his buds at Anthrocon. Hit it off real well with Robert n' his wife Steph while their n' got acquainted with Daniel n' Ellen. For this opportunity I swore to change my ways n' open up to folks again.

Well a lot has gone on since then. Some very good n' some very bad. I did open up more n' reestablished long dormant friendships. Become much more of a friend to those around me on a daily basis. Sadly though I would also fall into a deep depression for most of the second half of the year. Mostly brought on by having to move on from a kind n' sociable boss to one impossible to work for in everyway. Still I try. I was gonna be the exception. I was gonna make it work n' I did for 6 grueling months sacrificing my sanity in the process. Finally left that impossible situation but so much damage had been done. I also look back n' see that this group itself that I was hoping to be part of seems to be splintering a bit. Given such great distances that separate y'all, maybe that's just to be expected. In my depression, I allowed myself to believe it was all my fault. As silly as that may seem, I did. It's not rational but then again I haven't been all that rational at times:P

So what's the point in all this? What exactly am I trying to convey. In a way, I'm not too sure myself. I look back at pictures of y'all from before me n' I hope what y'all had as friends still remains despite hardships n' all. I've come to learn that friendships are to be greatly treasured n' I'll never take my buds for granted again. Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not out to shame anyone or to garner sympathy. With all that's happened, I just wanted to share my thoughts. Know that no matter what happens from here on out this yotefox is real appreciative for meeting all of y'all. Hope to always count y'all as friends. No matter how different I may be. Love you guys:3 God bless^^

Nathaniel Wright a.k.a Cobalt

Fitness update.
Well I'm a bit disappointed in the fact I gained 0.8 lbs. instead of losing any. Still there it appears that that may be muscle rather than fat as my fat % hasn't risen. So that puts me at 173.8 lbs. which according to most BMI indexes is slightly overweight for my shortness. The ole spare tire is still prominent but not like this time last year. Hopefully by summer time I'll actually be able to show off my six pack abs that's been developing beneath the stubborn belly fat:P Can't be too down bout not losing weight. I was able to swim a full mile non-stop yesterday in 38 minutes. Can honestly say I've never had that much stamina in ages it seems. So I rejoice for there's more successes in fitness than just weight loss or muscle gain. Have a great week all:3

Writer's Block: Game Day Recipes
What are your favorite game day recipes?

This just caught my eye favorite game day recipe is something that is done in my family for more than just the big game. Take a box of Triscuit crackers n' arrange em round a block of cream cheese. Top off that block of cream cheese with some of grandma's homemade pepper jelly. Now that's some awesome eats. Now I'm hungry for an early lunch:P

Lost 2 pounds 2 weeks into routine
Down to 171 lbs. two weeks into my weightlifting/swimming regime^^ Already noticing increased lung capacity n' endurance which, more so than muscle bulk, is what I was aiming for. Predominaty I'm a swimmer. Always been better built for it n' I enjoy the water so. Satisfies my inner otter. Starting this year though, I added back in some weightlifting with the help of a local friend who showed me an excellent upper body regime to focus on the primary muscles used in swimming n' designed more for increasing endurance rather than muscle mass (though it does tone nicely). The only drawback is I had to cut out Wednesday as, even currently unemployed, I can't get out to the gym before it closes. Fortunately this workout is still pretty effective for just two days. I just push myself a bit harder.

Here's how the routine goes. On Monday n' Friday I warm up for 3 minutes on an elliptical n' stretch some. I then warm up my target muscles with dumbells. Started off at 10 lbs but at 15 now. Then it's the serious lifting from dips n' seated rows to flys n' incline chest press. For Feb. I'm gonna throw in some squats, leg extensions n' curls just to keep the legs from feeling neglected:P Unlike typical weightlifting with heavy weights n' short reps along with long breaks between, this one is more fast-paced with lots of reps n' not much rest between sets to keep the heartrate elevated n' build up endurance. These are follow by a three minute cool down on the ellliptical n' finally in the pool. Had been doing a third of a mile for cool down but I'm gonna stretch to a half mile starting this week. As for Tues. Thurs. n' Sat. I've been swimming for half a mile but since swimming's all I do those days, gonna do a full mile n' then as a real treat, I jump into the therapy pool to stretch out n' unwind. I don't need to pay extra for a massage even as I can just place my feet over one of the powerful floor jets n' wow! It's amazing how focused pressure on the bottom of one's feet can make the whole body feel awake n' full of extra energy. Here's hoping I can loose 4 lbs in the next couple of weeks of this. Big thanks to danteag n' ianthegecko whose own fitness post encouraged me to chronicle my own fitness quest n' keep myself honest. Have a blessed Sunday y'all¦3

Despite my current situation n' uncertainies, I'm gonna remain positive

Taken earlier this morning. I love sunrises^^ Such a beautiful symbol of a new day n' a reminder that I can set the tone for this day. So I'm gonna try my darndest not to get so stressed out n' over-emotional over things I can't control. Way I see it, I can't expect things to improve if I keep letting the bad effect me so. It's hard as I'm the quintessential over-emotional type. I'm as high as a kite when among friends n' having a good time n' lower than the deepest depths when alone n' stressed-out. I know God has a plan for me n' He'll help keep me on track if I stop being so stubborn n' pig-headed:P In concussion, be thankful for who ya are n' where yer at in life as, for the most part, it could always be worse. Thanks once again to Keep n' Dante for joining me in some questing n' carnage on LOTRO last night:3 Look forward to future conquests. Take care everyone.

Much needed vent space:P
So I've been looking at my mountain of tweets I've done in the past n' quite frankly, I seriously need to get away from venting so much on there. Let's face it, I can't vent much in 140 characters or less n' this is a much better outlet for that. Also I can make it so my vents are completely private just for me to unload or just have understanding friends read em instead of the whole world wide web knowing all that goes on with me. Now I can make my twitter page a much less depressing place! Yay!!! Just a brief update here, yes I got the ball rolling on my job resignation. Always so tough to say goodbye to folks you've come to care about but it's time to move on n' do what I can with the future before me. Of course this isn't gonna just be a place to empty my mind all the time. Hope to get to know a few folks a bit better that I've come to meet last summer n' get back in touch with others. So here's to fresh starts. *clinks glass*


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