- Some reflection on friendships.
- February 8th, 2011
This is a general reflection I've felt led to share. It's mainly geared however to six special individuals, five I've met n' one I hope soon to meet. Robert & Stephanie, Jasper, Daniel, Ellen, n' Ian. Don't know why this particular group is so important to me. Guess mainly it's because it represents a group dynamic that I've never been a part of. I've had a few individual friends scattered throughout childhood but I was always so varied in my interests n' personalities ever to stick to a group of friends. In truth, do to a few bad experiences, I generally got in the habit of not keeping in touch with folks. Foolishly thinking that I'd be better off not making friends. Never trying just to avoid the hurt. Then bout this time last year I met Jasper online n' he invited me to join him n' his buds at Anthrocon. Hit it off real well with Robert n' his wife Steph while their n' got acquainted with Daniel n' Ellen. For this opportunity I swore to change my ways n' open up to folks again.
Well a lot has gone on since then. Some very good n' some very bad. I did open up more n' reestablished long dormant friendships. Become much more of a friend to those around me on a daily basis. Sadly though I would also fall into a deep depression for most of the second half of the year. Mostly brought on by having to move on from a kind n' sociable boss to one impossible to work for in everyway. Still I try. I was gonna be the exception. I was gonna make it work n' I did for 6 grueling months sacrificing my sanity in the process. Finally left that impossible situation but so much damage had been done. I also look back n' see that this group itself that I was hoping to be part of seems to be splintering a bit. Given such great distances that separate y'all, maybe that's just to be expected. In my depression, I allowed myself to believe it was all my fault. As silly as that may seem, I did. It's not rational but then again I haven't been all that rational at times:P
So what's the point in all this? What exactly am I trying to convey. In a way, I'm not too sure myself. I look back at pictures of y'all from before me n' I hope what y'all had as friends still remains despite hardships n' all. I've come to learn that friendships are to be greatly treasured n' I'll never take my buds for granted again. Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not out to shame anyone or to garner sympathy. With all that's happened, I just wanted to share my thoughts. Know that no matter what happens from here on out this yotefox is real appreciative for meeting all of y'all. Hope to always count y'all as friends. No matter how different I may be. Love you guys:3 God bless^^
Nathaniel Wright a.k.a Cobalt