Been getting the same question over n' over again from friends n' relatives for the past couple weeks now. What do you want for yer birthday? In almost exactly 24 hrs. I shall turn 28 n' my answer still is the same it's been a lot of years. I don't know. Of course it's not really that I don't know or that I don't won't anything. It's just what I want usually is not anything that can be giftwrapped n' delivered. I want the financial struggles of my family n' that of a few friends to be taken care of. I wanna be given a fair chance at being known. Not to be prejudged on the basis of how I talk, where I live, n' what I believe. Just because I'm a white boy from the country n' a devout Christian doesn't make me a backwards, racist, homophobic redneck. I hate no one. May not agree with folks over religion, politics, n' lifestyles but it doesn't mean I hate. This year in particular, I'd like to see old friendships restored. Not just my own. Already making headway on the front. I mean some folks real close to me. Of late, sometimes I feel more like a replacement friend than a true friend. Like I'm just supposed to fill the gap of a place vacated by a former friend. But I can't be that other guy. I'm nothing like him n' never will be. I can only be me. That's all I can be. Maybe I'm just being paranoid thinking like that. Sure it's not true. It just feels like it sometimes n' it's frustrating. Possibly it's nothing more than this cold making me all down n' such I don't know. I don't know. Seems to be a catch phrase for me of late. Will try once again to get to sleep. Peace y'all¦3
P.S. For those folks I did gift art for or sent an e-card, don't think you have to do the same in kind for my big day. Really n' truly I'd be satisfied with just an acknowledgement. Because what anyone really wants on their day I think is to be known n' appreciated.
- All I really want is...